Your priorities are delusional.
Delulu Bot is your AI accountability partner that rewrites the mental models that silently cost you millions in opportunity costs and helps you increase your odds of success. Each week, it roasts your focus to prevent unforced errors before you waste another day on fake work.
Used by founders pretending onboarding nonprofits is GTM.
THERE IS A BETTER WAY WITH THIS SHORT SILVER BULLETS:
Think from first principles - reasoning from the core essence and substance
#TheOneThingFounder mode - not manager mode, be in the details with hands on
#Don'tDelegateSalesTill1MMRevenueRetardmaxxing - don't overthink planning and just do it
#AvoidGettingStuckInALoop#founder-mode · live roasts
These mistakes can cost you up to $1 million in opportunity costs
A brief catalog of common founder delusions.
Yes, you've done at least three of these this week.
marek (founder)
Máme 2k MRR a ja ako CEO chcem rozbehnúť Partner-Led-Growth.
Delulu Bot app
Pekný nápad, ale partneri ťa do prvého milióna nedotlačia. Predaj najprv sám a ukáž im, že má zmysel ťa nosiť.
sam (founder)
Pilot → roční zmluva mám konverziu 10:1. To je predsa top-of-funnel problém, nie?
Delulu Bot app
Skôr to vyzerá na onboarding a produktovú hodnotu. Pozri sa, kde ľudia odpadávajú po pilotnom týždni.
priya (founder)
Sales team má 3 slabé case studies. Zatiaľ vieme len že roleplay zlepší zručnosť o 20%.
Delulu Bot app
CFO chce tvrdé čísla na ROI. Vyber jeden účet a zmeraj reálny biznis dopad – konverziu, deal size, time-to-ramp.
jordan (founder)
V early stage ako CEO verím v 'Tell, don't show'.
Delulu Bot app
Do 1M ARR funguje lepšie opak. Ukáž team-u, ako sa zatvára deal – playbook sa potom píše ľahšie.
alex (founder)
Plánujem vyplatiť rodinnému príslušníkovi 23k za content support počas 9 mesiacov.
Delulu Bot app
Skús si to porovnať s trhovou cenou a s tým, čo robil intern zadarmo. Governance ti za to neskôr poďakuje.
lena (founder)
Druhému rodinnému príslušníkovi dám 6k za podobnú prácu na 4 mesiace.
Delulu Bot app
Tá sadzba dáva zmysel. Lenže potom tá prvá zmluva na 23k vyzerá ešte viac mimo – zosúlaď ich.
tom (founder)
Môj salesák podáva slabé výkony.
Delulu Bot app
Skúsil si si ten istý funnel prejsť sám týždeň? Často sa ukáže, že problém nie je v človeku, ale v ponuke.
kira (founder)
Mám 99% usage churn za 3 mesiace. Mám zatlačiť na sales?
Delulu Bot app
Sales to nezachráni. Pri takomto churn-e je signál jasný: produkt nedrží hodnotu, začni tam.
ben (founder)
Salesák nepremenil 100 leadov, ja len 50. Aspoň som lepší.
Delulu Bot app
On robí celý top-of-funnel, ty len warm leady. Porovnaj rovnaké fázy, inak je to neférové.
mia (founder)
Dnes onboardujem neziskovku.
Delulu Bot app
Fajn pre dobrý pocit, ale tvoj kalendár potrebuje ICP akvizíciu. Polrok bez nového loga je varovanie.
leo (founder)
Náš roleplay builder a evaluačné prompty sú unikátne.
Delulu Bot app
Pozri si pár open-source alternatív – 95% funkcionality sa dá poskladať za víkend. Skutočné moat je inde.
nora (founder)
Tento týždeň: 10 interných meetingov, 2 zákaznícke, research a playbook.
Delulu Bot app
Pomer obráť. 10 zákazníckych a 2 interné – playbook sa potom napíše sám z reálnych dát.
raj (founder)
Za 2025 sme predali piloty za 30k EUR.
Delulu Bot app
Skvelý progres. Pozri sa ale na CSM náklady – ak sú 2x vyššie ako revenue, treba zoštíhliť alebo zdvihnúť ceny.
eva (founder)
Prvý polrok 2026 máme 150k nabillované, super.
Delulu Bot app
Pekné číslo, ale burn je 200k. Predtým než budeš škrtať ľudí, pozri si maržu na deal-i.
dan (founder)
Pivotnúť value prop 10x v early stage je normálne.
Delulu Bot app
Iterovať áno, ale 10 úplne iných ICP za rok znamená, že ešte hľadáš. Zafixuj jeden segment na 90 dní.
zoe (founder)
Odmietlo ma 50 z 50 VC. Asi je dôvod nízke revenue.
Delulu Bot app
Revenue je len jeden faktor. Spýtaj sa ich rovno – väčšinou ti povedia aj o teame, IP a modeli.
max (founder)
Tvrdý leadership štýl funguje, ľudia potrebujú tlak.
Delulu Bot app
Tlak áno, rešpekt viac. Sales je remeslo, ktoré sa kríkom nenaučí – ukáž to radšej osobným príkladom.
iva (founder)
Laser focus na jeden ICP je preceňovaný.
Delulu Bot app
9 segmentov × 9 value props = 0 repeatable wins. Vyber jeden, vyhraj ho, potom rozširuj.
screenshots not staged. ok maybe slightly staged. you get the point.
the product
What Delulu Bot actually does.
Priority Roasting
Detects fake productivity and busywork. Then mocks it publicly.
Founder Accountability
Keeps reminding you what actually moves revenue. Daily. Mercilessly.
Slack Native
No new app. Just painful truth directly where bad decisions happen.
Delusion Score™
Daily score from "focused operator" to "AI blockchain CRM visionary".
Live demo · no Slack needed
Get roasted right now.
Type what you're working on today. Delulu Bot replies with a roast and a Delusion Score™. Top scores hit the leaderboard below.
Test of first-principles thinking
Hall of Delusion
Today's most delusional operators.
Live leaderboard of the highest Delusion Scores™ from the playground above.
a brief catalog
Common founder delusions.
Hover each one. Yes, you've done at least three of these this week.
"Rebuilding instead of selling"
v3 of your codebase will not save you. a customer call might.
v3 of your codebase will not save you. a customer call might.
"Taking enterprise calls with non-ICP clients"
they will not sign. they will request a demo for their cousin.
they will not sign. they will request a demo for their cousin.
"Perfecting onboarding for zero users"
0 × 'world-class UX' is still 0.
0 × 'world-class UX' is still 0.
"Researching instead of shipping"
you've been 'doing discovery' for 11 weeks. ship the ugly version.
you've been 'doing discovery' for 11 weeks. ship the ugly version.
"Thinking branding is your bottleneck"
your bottleneck is that nobody knows you exist.
your bottleneck is that nobody knows you exist.
what they (begrudgingly) say
Loved by founders who hate it.
"Delulu Bot saved me from spending 3 weeks redesigning buttons."
"I hated this bot. Then revenue doubled."
"It's like having Paul Graham bully me into focus and living rent-free in our Slack."
pricing
Pay less than your unused Notion seats.
Free
for chronic procrastinators
- 10 roasts/day
- Slack integration
- Basic accountability
- Public shame (lite)
Pro
/founder /month — cheaper than therapy
- Unlimited roasts
- Team-wide roasting
- Founder analytics
- Recurring focus reminders
- Delusion score™
Enterprise
for orgs in late-stage cope
- Custom roast tone
- Company focus dashboards
- Manager mode
- Quarterly delusion review
- Dedicated mean-bot success
FAQ · obviously
Questions you're too embarrassed to ask.
Don't worry, we've roasted worse.
Your startup doesn't need another productivity tool.
It needs intervention.
takes 30 seconds. your fragile ego takes longer to recover.